- Sexual Communication and Compatibility
Sexual communication is key. Regularly communicate what you want and do not want during sex. Learn what your spouse loves and does not love during sex. Be an explorer. Your spouse’s body is meant to be sexually explored by you at will. It is your playground and human stress-relieving apparatus!
But kindly note that sexual compatibility is key. Note the differences and similarities in your approach to sex. Do they outweigh each other very much or is there a balance?
If the issues stem from sexual inadequacies alone, then you are fortunate. Your best bet is to meet with a renowned sex therapist (like me, Dr. Ray) who can prepare the specific therapy and treatment, and not one who will just offer treatment prescriptions to potential client-patients
- Emotional Incompatibility and Insecurities
Where a couple may have issues is the area of emotional incompatibility! They may need to go back to the drawing board. Start afresh. If possible have a new marriage proposal (just for themselves alone), truly forgive each other and expunge all grudges from their hearts. They need to realize that nothing can be done about the past. If your ex wanted to marry you, he or she would have. Whatever regrets should be shoved aside and a new beginning should be liturgically sort after. Marital happiness is a state of mind. You both can achieve it.
Again, try to retract any dissecting comments or abuse of your spouse in the past. Constantly assure your spouse that you love him/her dearly and are willing to join hands and faith with him/her to make it work out.
- Self and Spouse Body Shaming
It’s sad how people, directly and indirectly, body shame their spouses. You have sworn to love your spouse, why body shame him/her? Why body shame yourself? Please love your body and that of your spouse. You can never keep remaining youthful forever. That body you admired and worshiped as a god or goddess body would begin to fade with age. It will happen to everybody. While making love ensure you do so passionately. Make your spouse know that you enjoy your spouse’s body. You get hungry for it every time. While at work or away, flirt with her/him via simple texts or pictures or calls or whatever means. This is a form of mental foreplay which works superbly.
Now, tell me, if you do not appreciate your body, how will someone else appreciate it better? You sexually dictate the tune and tone in bed by appreciating your body even in the presence of your spouse.
- Do Not Be Sexually Boring.
Try new sex positions. Ask for the sexual fantasies of your lover. Play out the ones that can be played out, this way you can both trust yourselves with your inner sexual cravings without being judged by each other.
Occasionally attend adult entertainment outings and events (like the SensualBooth Lifestyle Party and the ones Ray’s Sensual Calls Spa @9jaMassageDr), see exciting adult content together, etc!
Another thing I would implore couples to try is this: never allow your anger and quarrel to get into the next day (if truly you love yourselves). Ensure you settle the quarrel with a passionate ‘peace-making’ lovemaking later that day or at night. If you are on your period, you can cuddle and get cozy. Some of your intimate moments should not just be about penetrative sex alone.
Read further in my previous article (HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN CUM)
- Financial and Work-Related Stress
This is where deep conversation and sincere communication helps. Spouses should be caring enough to know what their partner is going through in business, at work, financially, etc. Encourage your spouse. Ensure that your spouse knows that you are solidly behind him/her. You stand with your spouse and put heads together to resolve your challenges. Kindly note that challenges are a part of life. It should not rob you of your marital bliss.
- Transfer Of Almost All The Love To Children
There should be a vital balance between love for children and love for a spouse.
I thank you for coming to my column to read my articles. Kindly share my highly educating and interesting articles with others (on groups on Facebook, WhatsApp, Telegram, etc. ) to learn and enjoy. Who knows, you could be helping a Sexually Stranded individual or couple!
Please, if you are visiting for the first time, do well to read other articles. I am sure you will thank me for the great work I am doing for free for humanity.
I am Dr. Ray, an Asian-Trained Masseur (Male Massage Therapist), Sex Therapist, Trainer, and Homeopathic Dr. I am also the CEO of Ray’s Sensual Calls Spa – A leading Mobile Spa that has carved her niché in the Adult Leisure and Entertainment Industry in major cities of Nigeria and beyond!
Kindly follow me on Twitter via @SensualRay and Instagram via @9jaMassageDr
Your comments are highly anticipated.