This is a very important topic in the art of lovemaking because it is all-inclusive! (Let’s use a regular straight couple as our focus here). Both the man and the woman should participate in the act to ensure the lady cums. Often times most ladies leave all the work to the man without realising that it’s their cum, not the man’s! The man can easily cum meaning that the lady can often times be left without orgasm after the lovemaking!
Kindly permit me to divide this topic into different parts for a better understanding of this topic. Some parts would be the responsibility of the men while the other parts would be the responsibility of the women in ensuring that both cooperate to make the woman cum.
- Mental Foreplay
This is a form of foreplay where the man (and vice versa meaning ladies too can indulge) prepares his lady’s mind in anticipation of lovemaking by complimenting her beauty, telling her the sweet things she loves to hear, calling her on the phone to tell her how he cannot wait to ravish her sexy body, chatting her up and telling her naughty things and how irresistible her body is and how he enjoys her sex play, buying her something he knows she would appreciate (not necessarily something expensive) – it could be even suya (steak) or any little snacks she loves.
Employing some of these tips listed above, she would definitely melt in your arms by the time they both get in the act of lovemaking because he had mentally prepared her for the act.
- Erotic/Sexual (Physical) Foreplay
By now, the lady’s mind has been prepared mentally for lovemaking which automatically has its effects on how responsive to the man’s physical touch her body will be.
This form of foreplay is the physical version of the mental foreplay where the services of the hands (fingers inclusive), tongues, mouth, bodies, etc. of both the man and woman are employed. Please note that penetrative sex (inserting the penis into the vagina) is not necessary at this stage.
You begin with soft kisses and sensual caresses. There is no need to rush or heat up things now because it is not a quickie (rushed sex). Take your time and savor every second of the foreplay. Stroke her hair and gently caress her face as you kiss her.
After like 15 to 20 mins or even more, you can now concentrate on teasing certain parts of her body.
Gently fondle her breasts just how she likes it. Kindly take note of her body language and responses (both verbal and bodily) to know when she prefers gentle fondling or slightly rough caresses of her breasts. Pinch her nipples in between caresses occasionally. Use your tongue sensually on the nipples. You can use your teeth to softly hold the nipple in place while you flick your tongue sensually around the nipples.
Gently slide your tongue down to her navel and lick around (you may discover an erogenous zone there). Caress her inner thighs sensually with your fingers and also occasionally use your fingers to scratch her inner thighs lightly. Trail soft kisses down her thighs and back up to her pubic region. Repeat the same using your tongue sensually.
By now she should be trembling all over or talking gibberish but do not stop the foreplay. Tease all around her clitoris with your tongue, specifically avoiding her clitoris. Do this clockwise ten times and anti-clock wise ten times simultaneously ten times. Flatten your tongue on her vulva and lick the entire length from the end of her vagina up to her clitoris in one sweep. Repeat like ten times. Lock around the labia minora and labia majora paying equal attention to both!
By now her clitoris should be aching for specific attention. Flick your tongue across her clitoris horizontally and vertically and lick all around. First, begin sensually then proceed to exert a little more pressure. Note, read her body language to know what she prefers at any particular time. Some ladies would verbally direct you, some would use body movements while some would just stay there but you can still tell through her body rhythms if you are doing her right.
At this stage, if she has not grabbed your head to push it further into her pubic region or speaking in tongues then you are either missing something or she is not yet comfortable enough with you to explicitly express her sexual excitements (but you will know from the reactions in her vagina). She might even start begging for you to insert your penis into her vagina for those ladies that can not endure or are not used to prolonged sensually torturous foreplay but do not succumb. Continue what you are doing.
While still at it, insert a finger or two into her, by now, copious vagina and finger fuck her furiously. You can surprise her with a little butt-hole play by inserting a well-lubricated (with saliva or oil) finger into her butt-hole slowly and sensually, lingering at the tip before fully sliding in but if she feels uncomfortable or does not just want it, please stop at once in other not to ruin the fun by getting her off the mood.
If you are good and persistent, by now, she should have at least cum once but she is more likely to cum more than once. Different ladies with different physiological and biological setups.
Now, the vagina should be well-oiled and really itching for your penis. You can insert your penis and finish up your meal.
Note that some ladies become very sensitive after they cum and would need to calm down for up to 30 minutes before she can allow you to insert your penis inside her vagina. If your woman belongs to this category and you do not want to break the fun, bring her close to orgasm and stop before she cums. Do this several times but you need to be very calculating and observant so that she does not cum. After you feel she has got enough torture from you from the foreplay, insert your penis and make sweet love to her. She would cum during sex and everyone would be satisfied.
Basically, you just need to be an explorer. Try to locate her hidden erogenous zones. Gently finger her butthole with a well-lubricated finger (if she is comfortable with it). Lick/suck her fingers and toes. Softly caress her bum, knees, inner thighs, feet, etc. Some ladies who are in tune with their body sexually, reading this piece would have by now seen their own unusual erogenous zone(s) from the list I just mentioned above.
I am Dr. Ray, an Asian-Trained Masseur (Male Massage Therapist), Sex Therapist, Trainer, and Homeopathic Dr. I am also the CEO of Ray’s Sensual Calls Spa – A leading Mobile Spa that has carved her niché in the Adult Leisure and Entertainment Industry in major cities of Nigeria and beyond!
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Your comments are highly anticipated.